http://www.sciencedaily.com/articles/a/aircraft.htm
Airplanes are cans designed to hurtle through an atmosphere that would otherwise be uninhabitable at tremendous speed. This is so self aware sacks of meat can travel quickly across long distances. The reasons for these trips in a speeding cylinder vary widely, here are just a few: Some of these meat sacks travel to unknown lands to argue with other meat sacks about how many pieces of paper and bits of metal that certain objects are worth trading for. Some of them go to lay about on zillions of microscopic rocks in the hopes of becoming a darker shade of pinkish, they also like to splash around in water that they cannot drink. Others go to argue with important meat-sacks about why they should not kill thousands of meat sacks. Some just wanna have fun.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Wheat! Francesca Bartos 2nd
http://www.sciencedaily.com/articles/w/wheat.htm
Wheat is the only food group in the American-version of the food-pyramid. This is healthy because wheat is a plant and plants are basically vegetables anyway, so the main ingredient in everything here is wheat. This is really good for corporations that sell "food" because they can cheaply produce any food they want by simply adding different flavors to wheat products which they can buy in bulk at Costco. It is also convenient because obesity is passively ignored ,its serious health concerns are outweighed by money for rich people. the obese population also has an acquired taste for the high-fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated fat that holds wheat snacks together. America is content sucking the life out of itself through its own coca cola straw, and is passively sustained on Twinkies and kool-aid.
Wheat is the only food group in the American-version of the food-pyramid. This is healthy because wheat is a plant and plants are basically vegetables anyway, so the main ingredient in everything here is wheat. This is really good for corporations that sell "food" because they can cheaply produce any food they want by simply adding different flavors to wheat products which they can buy in bulk at Costco. It is also convenient because obesity is passively ignored ,its serious health concerns are outweighed by money for rich people. the obese population also has an acquired taste for the high-fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated fat that holds wheat snacks together. America is content sucking the life out of itself through its own coca cola straw, and is passively sustained on Twinkies and kool-aid.
Narwhals! Francesca Bartos 2nd
http://www.sciencedaily.com/articles/n/narwhal.htm
Narwhals are large, horned sea mammals. Narwhals look like someone stabbed a chubbier, stubbier dolphin in the face with a cotton candy holder. Narwhals, of course, are directly related to Unicorns(which are now extinct). Thousands of years ago, unicorns were the most beautiful, smart,talented,sexy, and punctual creatures on the planet. Naturally all of the other creatures were simultaneously envious an in awe of them. As a result Unicorns were put on a pedestal and none of the other creatures treated them like normal animals. this alienated the unicorn, the unicorn was led to believe that is it was super-lame, when really they were normal and even cool. Unicorns began to believe they were not worthy of pleasant company. The Unicorns then went to the Ocean, where they were hit on by obnoxious whales, and because no animal before had shown interest in the unicorn they got with the whales. And thus the narwhal was created and eventually unicorns died out and all that is left of their majesty are blubbery horned mammal fish.
Narwhals are large, horned sea mammals. Narwhals look like someone stabbed a chubbier, stubbier dolphin in the face with a cotton candy holder. Narwhals, of course, are directly related to Unicorns(which are now extinct). Thousands of years ago, unicorns were the most beautiful, smart,talented,sexy, and punctual creatures on the planet. Naturally all of the other creatures were simultaneously envious an in awe of them. As a result Unicorns were put on a pedestal and none of the other creatures treated them like normal animals. this alienated the unicorn, the unicorn was led to believe that is it was super-lame, when really they were normal and even cool. Unicorns began to believe they were not worthy of pleasant company. The Unicorns then went to the Ocean, where they were hit on by obnoxious whales, and because no animal before had shown interest in the unicorn they got with the whales. And thus the narwhal was created and eventually unicorns died out and all that is left of their majesty are blubbery horned mammal fish.
Bats! Francesca Bartos 2nd
http://www.sciencedaily.com/articles/b/bat.htm
Bats are descendants of both Dragons and rat-bears. This is why they have wings and poor eyesight. The eyesight problem is a grotesque mutation caused when fictional reptiles breed with rodent-bear hybrids. This is why some species shouldn't interbreed. They only come out at night because they have mutant body-image issues. They also eat bugs, which is gross. They eat bugs because they have a cultural lore about the benefits of eating insects. They believe that the gross bug stomach mucus will cure them and turn them into the fearsome and mighty beasts that legend says they were meant to be. This of course is a ridiculous tale they have made up to cope with their miserable existence. It is funny because no one is actually concerned about this. People just think it is really cool that a flying mammal exists. Bats , of course do not see it this way. Bats are only concerned about how ugly everyone must think they are. Bats do not realize that no one really cares enough to worry about their mutation. Mostly others just pay attention to their own business except for the occasional remark about how freaking cool it is that bats can fly. If this has been a confusing read pleas note that I was not really talking about bats.
Bats are descendants of both Dragons and rat-bears. This is why they have wings and poor eyesight. The eyesight problem is a grotesque mutation caused when fictional reptiles breed with rodent-bear hybrids. This is why some species shouldn't interbreed. They only come out at night because they have mutant body-image issues. They also eat bugs, which is gross. They eat bugs because they have a cultural lore about the benefits of eating insects. They believe that the gross bug stomach mucus will cure them and turn them into the fearsome and mighty beasts that legend says they were meant to be. This of course is a ridiculous tale they have made up to cope with their miserable existence. It is funny because no one is actually concerned about this. People just think it is really cool that a flying mammal exists. Bats , of course do not see it this way. Bats are only concerned about how ugly everyone must think they are. Bats do not realize that no one really cares enough to worry about their mutation. Mostly others just pay attention to their own business except for the occasional remark about how freaking cool it is that bats can fly. If this has been a confusing read pleas note that I was not really talking about bats.
The Moon! Francesca Bartos 2nd
http://www.sciencedaily.com/articles/m/moon.htm
As you are probably aware the Earth is a two dimensional disc covered in oceans and land on which animals and plants live out their futile existence. Now that you have been reminded of that indisputable fact, I will now explain what the moon is. The moon is also a disc which revolves above the Earth. This is why the moon landing is so obviously fake. The edges of Earth are guarded by NASA to prevent Earth from learning the truth. The government is against us. NASA is an oppressive force that wants to breed ignorance. The world is in peril. Wolves know the truth, That is why they Howl at the moon. We have been fed lies about the Wolf, the Wolf is actually the most intelligent animal on the planet , but our minds are incapable of understanding them. NASA has fed us lies about the Wolf, leading us to believe that they are dumb animals, so we ignore their vain attempts to tell us the truth about the moon landing.*
*DISCLAIMER*- this is totally not what think at all. It makes no sense at all.
As you are probably aware the Earth is a two dimensional disc covered in oceans and land on which animals and plants live out their futile existence. Now that you have been reminded of that indisputable fact, I will now explain what the moon is. The moon is also a disc which revolves above the Earth. This is why the moon landing is so obviously fake. The edges of Earth are guarded by NASA to prevent Earth from learning the truth. The government is against us. NASA is an oppressive force that wants to breed ignorance. The world is in peril. Wolves know the truth, That is why they Howl at the moon. We have been fed lies about the Wolf, the Wolf is actually the most intelligent animal on the planet , but our minds are incapable of understanding them. NASA has fed us lies about the Wolf, leading us to believe that they are dumb animals, so we ignore their vain attempts to tell us the truth about the moon landing.*
*DISCLAIMER*- this is totally not what think at all. It makes no sense at all.
Earth's Tides! Francesca Bartos 2nd
http://www.sciencedaily.com/articles/t/tide.htm
I am writing this current event about tides because it is required of me. Tides are related to the United States, because the United States, like many countries, has shores which tides break upon. The article I have chosen is a reference article which explains what tides are. Tides are currents caused by the moon's gravity pulling on them. This is important because weather. If you have ever been to the beach than you can probably imagine how dull it would be without waves. The most prominent benefit of waves is that they are really helpful for surfing.
The most interesting thing about this article is the fact that it is needed. you should know what tides are. America.
I am writing this current event about tides because it is required of me. Tides are related to the United States, because the United States, like many countries, has shores which tides break upon. The article I have chosen is a reference article which explains what tides are. Tides are currents caused by the moon's gravity pulling on them. This is important because weather. If you have ever been to the beach than you can probably imagine how dull it would be without waves. The most prominent benefit of waves is that they are really helpful for surfing.
The most interesting thing about this article is the fact that it is needed. you should know what tides are. America.
Shooting Spree Kills 3, Including Officer and Teen on His Way Home From Graduation - Camille Vigil
Today in Norfolk, Virginia, 3 were killed in a shooting spree as 17-year old
Mark Rodriguez was on his way home from a graduation celebration. Mark died at the scene, and police officers responding to the attack were both shot, Officer Curtis Allison being injured, while Officer Bryan Jones was pronounced dead after being taken to the hospital. When Jones was shot, Allison attempted to give him aid, and was forced to fatally shoot the shooter, a man who's last name is Brown (his first name was not disclosed), when he tried to grab the officer's gun.
This story really hit close to home. As we are all aware, many of our friends are graduating this year as seniors, and it's horrifying to think that something like this could happen to a kid that's just starting a bright new chapter of his/her life. Even scarier is that this could happen to anyone, and it's begun to cause many people (including myself) to be a little more cautious and worried about where we are and who is around us. It's definitely made people more sensitive and I think we strongly need stricter gun control laws. It's not that people shouldn't have guns, it's that their given to people who clearly shouldn't be allowed to have them.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/shooting-spree-kills-including-officer-teen-home-graduation/story?id=23944105
Mark Rodriguez was on his way home from a graduation celebration. Mark died at the scene, and police officers responding to the attack were both shot, Officer Curtis Allison being injured, while Officer Bryan Jones was pronounced dead after being taken to the hospital. When Jones was shot, Allison attempted to give him aid, and was forced to fatally shoot the shooter, a man who's last name is Brown (his first name was not disclosed), when he tried to grab the officer's gun.
This story really hit close to home. As we are all aware, many of our friends are graduating this year as seniors, and it's horrifying to think that something like this could happen to a kid that's just starting a bright new chapter of his/her life. Even scarier is that this could happen to anyone, and it's begun to cause many people (including myself) to be a little more cautious and worried about where we are and who is around us. It's definitely made people more sensitive and I think we strongly need stricter gun control laws. It's not that people shouldn't have guns, it's that their given to people who clearly shouldn't be allowed to have them.
http://abcnews.go.com/US/shooting-spree-kills-including-officer-teen-home-graduation/story?id=23944105
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